Taking the Pressure Off The more options you have for sexual expression, the less pressure there is on having erections. This in turn makes it more likely that they will happen. Many couples report that they have learned to have very pleasurable sexual experiences without erections or intercourse. Many kinds of sexual expression and stimulation do not require an erect penis. It may be reassuring to know that to have an orgasm many women need or prefer direct stimulation by hand or mouth on or around the clitoris. This is stimulation that even an erect penis in a vagina can't provide.
If you explore other kinds of sexual touching and expression for a while, you may discover that erections will return with time or that the increased variety of sexual options satisfies both you and your partner. Patience, communication and time are critical factors in developing pleasurable sexual experiences.
Counseling If erections don't come back and intercourse is important to you and your partner, ask your doctor to refer you to a sex therapist for counseling. Counseling will help you with relaxation techniques, with planning time for proper stimulation and with methods for using visual stimulation and fantasy. Group counseling with cancer survivors who have had the same problem can also help.
If you are still not getting erections, the counselor may refer you to a urologist. Together with you and your counselor, the urologist can explore options such as a penile implant, injections or use of a vacuum pump.
